Liar, Liar Pants on fire? (So I dont have to say this again)

I type this because yall keep asking me about that girl. You know. The one on Twittuh with the mystery baby. So that I don’t have to explain this anymore, allow me to type it here:

I started following her a few months ago because another follower was concerned for placenta previa. Because I was a nurse and I have a house full of kids and we were both pregnant at the time, we mutually followed one another and she would occasionally ask a question or two. Thought nothing of it, ok fine. I ask her what stage is her condition and I get a google response:

definition of google response- when you ask someone a question and they cannot immediately reply because they are google-ing that shit.

#pause

Then she says she went to church to stalk her elderly baby daddy who was going to be there with another woman.

#pause

With that condition, you cant fart, have a stressful constipation shit, sneeze, walk far, bump a wall….GO TO CHURCH….

Then she tweets about how she got fucked real good. No ma’am. At that time two things ran through my mind, either she’s not pregnant, or she is lying about her condition to get attention. After that the tweets came, about lesbian sex, squirting, fucking, ‘OMG my professor is so fine’, this and that and that and this, I was convinced she wasnt pregnant. Then came the trip to Cuba.

Cuba? Yeah Cuba. Google banned travel to Cuba and scratch your head with me. Tweeted that she was on her way to the airport, stays away for 6 hours and tweets again like nothing happened…guess she forgot. When asked did she go to Cuba, she replied that her mother didnt want to go so she didnt go. Fine. Whatever.

Months pass of watching her tweet. I announced my suspicions to one person but rightfully didnt care because I have been admin-ing a forum for like 3 years now and all I read and see is fabrication. Nothing new but never about a baby and the death of parents, and junk like that.

Birth time came and I saw a pic of a baby coming out of someone’s vagina..no face showing of course. And then the 7lb premature baby…and all the live tweeting but no good pictures of the child…and what better way to get rid of an imaginary baby than to put it up for adoption. Yes. We had DM conversations about it and me asking her to think about it. Then her twitter account changed because she was ‘hacked’ yeah…right. Had the baby in Akron, but friends say she never left Columbus. Yeah I didn’t investigate any of this no worries my life is not that fucking sad, I just had mutual followers of hers asking me questions.

At any rate. When it gets down to the very bottom, I dont care. I do feel bad that this young lady is that psychotic that she feels that she has to tell those kind of stories to get attention. If you know someone like that, avoid them at all costs before you get wrapped up in their imaginary stories.

I also noticed your favorite makeup artist’s favorite makeup artist made sure yall saw pictures of her leg split wide-the-fuck open. Yes you had an accident, we believe you, still don’t believe your trife life ass story about you leaving your child at home alone to burn shit up while you stunt in a Range Rover playing in makeup and then say you have no money for an attorney…come again?

In truth and in lies…attention whores come in many forms-Aprill Coleman (that’s my shit don’t steal it )

This wont be on my blog forever, feel free to screenshot, copy, paste, whatever!

Sign of the times: hating/hater>honesty/opinion

I don’t know what made me decide to talk about this.  I wanna be brief because otherwise I will ramble and go all over the place and we simply don’t want that. So let me just ask: Since when did personal honesty and/or personal opinion become hating?

I know what made me do this, I was on a website who’s name I won’t call, and there was a discussion as to why people are hating on these gals that make these video tutorials of them applying makeup. And every comment is ‘oh those girls are haters’, ‘they mad they can’t get stuff for free, blah blah blah ‘hating’, ‘hating’, ‘hater’. WHAT THE HELL!

Just because I don’t like something does not mean I am a hater, just because I am methodical and think both sides through and give compliments 3% of my day does not mean I am a hater.  Am I a pessimist? Damn straight if your eyes were open wide enough those happy singing cartoon birds would go away for you too.

If you got a truck on 24′s with a candy paint job and I don’t like that shit am I a hater? No, you’re retarded and irresponsible for doing it with money you obviously don’t have. In addition what is not my style, just isn’t my style.  If I say something about your jack ass weave am I a hater? No. your weave is trash, put it where it belongs.  If I am tired of seeing every bitch on you tube do tutorials in dark ass rooms with no skills trying to get free shit am I a hater? No. But if you are gonna makeup in the dark can you give that shit a snazzy title so that 1. I know its dark in your house 2. I can find something more exciting to watch like that fat dude dry humping his pillow:

Quit calling everything someone says ‘hating’.  She don’t like something about you? She’s not hating, SHE JUST DOSEN”T LIKE IT!!!

Putting someone’s tires on flat is hating….

Getting someone’s utilites shut off for no reason is hating…

Intentionally ruining your best friends hair is hating….

What comes out of my mouth is not. Its just what I think. Find a new word when someone does not like something about you.

Near Death? Near Something….nightcap

So! I had Antonio on March 3rd at 11:58 pm.  I would like to thank everyone from Facebook and Twitter for all the congrats and e-love.  I swear that majority of you treat me better than family.  So this is what happened after the birth of Antonio.  The doctors spent about 30-45 minutes after birth massaging my uterus (you know the game if you have had a baby)…I breastfed and he stayed in the room for like another 30 minutes or so….the nurse handed me a pill…for my blood pressure…said I would leave the delivery room after 2 hours because of the IV drugs I had. That’s all I remember….the rest my husband told me.

Mind you I had a BP injection around noon in OB receiving….and that big ass bag of Magnesium that was on constant flow via IV from 1pm till 11pm…..I had enough blood pressure medication for 3 people honestly.  But what can you say when you are the patient…you are young..and they assume you are uneducated because you are young with so many children?

What I was told: I asked to go to the bathroom.  I made it in there to the toilet and I started sweating, dry heaving, my eyes rolled back in my head, and I was basically gone.  My husband said he was shaking me, begging me to wake up, he was in a panic and said he screamed for a nurse but naturally no one heard him…then he remembered the cord in the bathroom to pull for the nurse.  They ask him what’s going on, he says he told them I was out and not breathing, they all run in…they said I had no pulse, they did CPR (I only believe them because of the bruises on my chest…and the fact that it hurts like a bitch!) they asked him to leave the room……

Its 4:50am and I wake up in recovery position and ask “Why am I still down here?” “I thought I was going to my room at 2:30am?” And then doctors come in the room…”What’s your name”, “What’s today’s date”, “*Insert stupid ass question here*” bullshit like that…I know my name, I know the date…but wtf happened? “Your blood pressure got too low sweetie” ….well if you all woulda been less generous with the meds…. At this point I ask what my BP is and they tell me 77/46….so imagine how much lower it was.

The way my husband looked at me when I opened my eyes….The way he looks at me now..like I’m fragile…like he’s relieved that I’m still here….like if he never appreciated me…he does now. Its scary.  I get asked 20 times a day “are you ok” “are you about to pass out” “do you feel like you are going to pass out” Its just strange….

I didnt see a white light….I didnt talk to any dead people…I didnt ask to go back to earth if I was sent anywhere at all….God knows it wasnt my time. I am not going to become more religious…I am not gonna to turn into some weird church lady on my soapbox of righteousness…..I am here…I am not dead as many times as I attempted suicide in the past……..just not today ok?

I dont know what to say….just not today

Yup, I dont care!

I was being told that I am 2 cm dilated while twitter ran a fuckery train on John Mayer. Everyone’s favorite douche-bag decided he would sprinkle a little zest by letting the world know that even though his heart loves the Negros…his penis is David Duke himself (if you don’t know who David Duke is, go take a poop to clear your backed up mind).

Along with that statement that enraged the vagina’s of 1000 black women…he also wanted to let us the readers know that he does not have a hood pass, because if he did he could say the word ‘nigger’. And this is where the intelligent people took offense.

I am intelligent, I am black, and I am not offended by neither comment and here’s why: The word originally was a neutral context to refer to black people….from the Spanish word negro or latin adjective niger. Duh right? Ok fine but somewhere Caucasians took the word and made it negative. Then African Americans took the word and tried to make it positive, but every time I hear us, you, them, whoever say it, its never positive, even after we, them…..whoever dropped the ‘er’ and added an ‘a’, its still not used in a positive light. I never hear a black man/woman say: “That nigga/nigger is my best good friend!” I rarely hear the phrase “That’s my nigga” anymore. I hear more “Imma kill that nigga, I hate that nigga, Fuck that nigga” more than I hear any other way so why do we make a big deal when a partially Jewish man says that he has no hood pass because if he did he could say nigger.  Yeah uhmmmm whatever.

And in reference to his David Duke penis…..I understand his message but his execution was all fucked up! I like (love) white people, I really do! But would I do the nasty with a white men if I were not a married woman…nope. Why? Preference.  And the bitch in me has more than one good explanation as to why his penis has no love for black women….you do the math.

So yeah…let the drama llama handle this one, he’s better trained than we are.  Lets make it a mission to be less hypocritical.  Since when did words have race restrictions? You don’t see the Spaniards upset. After all it was their word first *BIG ASS WINK*

When You Have as Many Kids as I do…..

All your thoughts become random because you tend to put more focus on them, and everything else just kinda falls into place.

But anyway.

I like facebook, I can be black, pick cotton and make fake money on farmville (*giggles* totally inappropriate but who cares?) I can play with my fake pet, since my real pet is a retard (shoutout to you Zoe!) and my fake pet is more productive, and not as emo, and I only have to feed it once every 2 days (WIN!).

And then there’s that thing called human nature on there, and some people are so stupid so I figured I would ask some questions that have been bothering me about you humans and facebook:

1. About this relationship status thing: Is there like a rule of human nature that after an argument you go change your relationship status? My nephew is like….18…and he has a girlfriend, and they have been married, divorced, in a relationship and its complicated, widowed (she checked that she liked that status) and just dating 17 times….THEY HAVE ONLY BEEN TOGETHER 3 MONTHS!! I see other people do it. Its so immature. Its like…you are mad….and you go straight to facebook and post it, and 2 days later you are back together again? That time you are on facebook crying you could be spending getting your life straight. Or knitting….taking care of your kids, working a second job, working on an education, cleaning your home, SOMETHING!!

2. As I move on in my rants about relationships on Facebook…do me a favor? Quit complaining about your man today and be ‘loving me some him’ tomorrow. You all make me dry heave. *In my best Obama voice* Ok look….my husband and I have issues. I wake up sometimes and wanna put a pillow over his head, kick him up the ass, something violent but damn 3 times a week? You may want to re-evaluate what you and ‘him’ got going on, sounds like yall fuck, he goes home…the end.In conclusion you make me sick.

3. Your life is not as bad as you make it, but it sure in the fuck aint as good as you make it either!  I wont get into this one, because certain people would KNOW I am talking about them…and I am too pregnant for this. You don’t want my honesty, I am not concerned about  violence, you wouldn’t win trust me.  I protect myself for your own good, not vice versa.

Thanks to the rational people of Facebook! The ones that complain here and there, share relevant joy and make you laugh.  Sad face to you idiots that display every relationship issue you have on there, we dont care, we shake our heads at you and laugh.  Children……..

“I Smiled Because I was Alive”

Haiti has made me realize it is not all about ‘me’….I have no issues in comparison to them:

After 8 days in rubble..he comes out with that beautiful smile on his face.  That is life. Kiki Joachin IS having the best day ever!

Source

Beyond the Makeup: Ask Fransis

Whomever invented this is a genius! Not safe for the ears…sorta

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Nightcap: Bear wants you to know….

That if dehydrated…you can always make an enema….good night!